Too Much Self-Awareness: Is That Possible?
I’m sure most of us have heard the words “self aware” in terms of well-being. Many people pride themselves on being self-aware as a sign of emotional intelligence or growth. I mean, the world would definitely be a happier, kinder, gentler place to be if more people worked on being self-aware. But what does self-awareness actually mean?
Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand things that make you who you are as an individual. This includes your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. When it comes to attention, awareness, and non-judgement, your Self becomes the subject — not in a hyper-focused sense, but more so woven into how you show up in and move about the world. This is also more so internal self-awareness.
External self-awareness is when you are curious about how others see you — it’s like you are noticing yourself as an observer.
So, if self-awareness is a good thing, then is it possible to be too self-aware? To have too much of a good thing? Yes! I mean we all can wish and hope that those that have no sense of self could obtain some so that they’d decrease their negative impact on themselves and others. But those that have too much can also have a negative impact on themselves and others.
When someone is TOO self-aware, this can lead to negative self evaluation — assigning value to thoughts, feelings, and behavior with judgement and labeling. It can cause stress and anxiety! When you assign value and judge who you are, what you do, what you think, and what you feel it can lead to self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem.
Think about how you would feel if you were constantly in your head, evaluating what you said, felt, thought, and did … you’d present as socially anxious and overwhelmed. It clouds your ability to live a healthy and fulfilling life because you’re unable to accept what is and who you are.
Acceptance. The antidote to too much self-awareness.
When you’re able to practice acceptance with yourself, your internal dialogue goes from “I am a mistake” to “I made a mistake” — it decreases your tendency to judge and label yourself negatively and also helps you authentically show up in the world and interact with others.
When acceptance pairs with self-awareness, it leads to empowerment! So how do we grow and strengthen healthy self-awareness?
Mindfulness: simply noticing without judgement or the urge to change anything. When you can take note of whats happening without trying to immediately change it, it helps you get to know yourself. Imagine you’re a new friend that you’re getting to know and they have a silly quirk — you wouldn’t immediately go “you did this and should stop and do this instead”, right? So why do it to yourself?
Journaling: journaling can be a practice for self-reflection. Writing down what’s happening internally and externally leads to insight about how your life events and relationships impact you and your responses to them.
Talk Therapy: one of my favorite techniques to use with clients is CBT: cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s the practice of addressing negative thought patterns and behaviors so we can then challenge, restructure, reframe, and learn new, more healthy and helpful thought patterns and behaviors.
Curious if you are too self-aware? Try taking an Emotional Intelligence quiz. It’ll give you insight into your self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
And remember, you are worthy of embracing your self-awareness on the personal journey and exploration of who you are.
“Self-awareness is a perpetual personal journey and exploration of who you are, why you do the things you do, and how you can become more of who you truly want to be. ”